That of a serious man

How can I become serious? 

Become that of a serious man.

I am not that tough
I am not big enough
My anger gets the best of me
Paranoia devours the rest of me

I do make jokes and laugh;
All the time
Making Joker of myself; value
Not a dime
Recognition deprivation makes me; tequila
Salt and Lime
May I forgive myself, I couldn't be
Silent Joker mime

Some ridicule me, in my being ways
My ego is hurt when; what friend says
I exude sharp anger, on such days
Blood-thirsty for blood frenzy;
like stoned sharks in bays

Transform ego and contain anger; yes, I can
Had my character been that of a serious man

Knowingly confused anger of mine
Toxic anger poisons me in return
Like, holding a burning charcoal
Expecting someone else to burn

Handling pressure peacefully
Of that, I have no records
Yet, a silent and serious being
Is what I will move towards
I don't want to be an angry man
Yelling hurts my vocal cords
I want to be a serious man
Who speaks limited words...